Matt disguises himself with a beard and dark glasses, Olivia thrills parents at Canberra's most exclusive school, and the whole family got a kick out of the Mercury's recaps of The Farmer Wants a Wife.
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The Mercury managed to score some one-on-one time with Wollongong's winner of Australia's top agriculture-related dating show - and it turns out she enjoyed following her own exploits through our less-than-earnest parodies.
And why not - with titles such as Farmer wants a Girl from the Gong, but does he know it yet?, Farmer wants a wifey to have a meltdown, and Just what all men want, more complications, drama and hurdles before going to bed, who could resist?
It was the second interview we had this week with the sunny-sided 24-year-old Olivia Benic - but clearly the Illawarra's favourite local daily paper can jump the queue straight to the red carpet.
And of course we can't treat these matters as actual reality - it's reality TV - so don't expect any reporting about something that happened on TV as if it was news.
We were slightly surprised Olivia had been a fan of the recaps, as they had mocked everything on the show, doubted its honour, and labelled Matt "the former" because he'd left the farm at the eleventh hour - he'd got off at Redfern.
But Olivia told us she loved the contrast between us, and the ugly criticism by trolly types elsewhere on social media.
"That's what's so good - I felt like in some of the articles people [were writing], people would just take it so seriously and be so harshly opinionated," Olivia said.
"So I think having a little bit of a comical gaze over the whole thing was refreshing and it was very enjoyable.
"Actually, we were watching the final episode with all of the family on Mother's Day, and I actually stood at the front of the family gathering and I read out one of your articles, including in front of the 'former', and it was all very funny.
"We had a good laugh."
Of course they did. But to be honest it's not hard to be nicer, smarter, funnier and just generally better than Facebook comments.
The Farmer show has a reunion episode Sunday week and we can spoil that right away by revealing Olivia and her beau are going strong and have recently moved in to their own place together - in Canberra - but they plan on raising their children on the farm.
Our entire world stopped when it was revealed - in the second-last episode - that the reason Matt's hands were so nice and smooth was that he was IN FACT NOT FARMING but instead was moving to town for a job with the Department of Agriculture.
This week the blonde bombshell admitted that bogus bombshell didn't come as a total surprise to her.
"I don't know how much I can give away," Olivia said. "I mean, obviously Matt went to university. So in my head I was wondering whether or not he would want to do something more practical work-wise with his degree.
"So I had a feeling that he might, and when we had our blessed cups of tea in the morning ... Matt was really respectful of the process. He never outright told me before the other ladies that he might not be at the farm, but he had said some things that gave me an idea that perhaps he wouldn't."
Ah, the cups of tea. The sneaky cups of tea which Olivia and Matt would enjoy in the morning because they were the first awake at the hunky homestead.
The wicked cups of tea which Olivia's last love rival Annabelle twisted to claim she had been two-faced in her pursuit of the handsome husbandman. What'll it be babe - perverted peppermint or sacrilegious Ceylon?
Or downright devilish Darjeeling, now we can reveal Matt was enticed onto the couch to watch the FIFA World Cup with Olivia - even though he was more of a fan of the oval-ball type of football.
"It was actually quite funny, because Matthew is a bit of a footy boy and he suddenly took a keen interest in watching the World Cup instead with me in the morning," Olivia said.
"That was quite funny as well."
Also funny is the fact that time-stamps the show's filming, as the FIFA World Cup in Qatar finished on December 18, 2022. It's a miracle they're still together after that long, what with things as they are these days and the moral decline now that everyone's lost their sight of the institutions that made this country what it is etc etc
Fast forward to this week and Olivia's not giving up on the dream of farm living - to raise their children.
"I mean, the whole point of going on the show was to, you know, end up on a farm together, and both Matt and I are on the same page when it comes to returning to the farm," she said.
"I think we both want to end up there in the next few years and I think we both want to raise the family on the farm as well. So we're both very keen on returning to Bookham. It's just more that we want to support each other's careers and ... the foundations of building that life together, I think is important as well for us."
In case you've never been to Bookham, it's a locality twentysomething clicks west of Yass, which is a town famous for an unintentionally amusing McDonald's sign (MYass) just under an hour northwest of Canberra, which is a place chosen to be Australia's capital because it was kinda halfway between Sydney and Melbourne, who were fighting over the privilege.
Bookham itself was actually nominated by NSW to become the nation's capital back in 1904, but it's now probably most famous for its rest area on the Hume Hwy which grey nomads have declared is not as pristine as it used to be and reduced its google star ratings accordingly.
And of course, it's Farmer Matt's home, so we expect the development of a cottage industry where visitors to the Rest Area can indulge in a Devonshire Tea and perhaps pick up a commemorative plate with Matt and Olivia's happy faces on it.
After the farmer himself was suddenly "unavailable" during both of the interviews - once in the shower, apparently, and once he'd left the hotel room, his paramour said - we had to wonder. Where was the former? Where's the proof of life? Olivia assured the Mercury he was in fact alive and well, and not buried in the backyard.
"No, I decided to keep this one," she said.
"We're both living in Canberra together now and we just got a place together. So that's a good little step step in the right direction.
"Matt and I had both discussed that we didn't just want me to drop completely everything and uproot my life. I wanted to finalise some things in Wollongong. I was supposed to finish my Cert 4 in business in July - but then I ended up doing it in record time and I moved in March instead."
We'll have to wait for the proof of life she promised to send, with the loved-up duo busy in Sydney for some bright lights and a show. A Shannon Noll gig, you think? Cold Chisel tribute band at the Padstow RSL perhaps? No silly, it's the new production from the Australian Ballet at the Opera House. Coolio, you gotta grab whatever chance you get when you live out in the sticks.
The pair have had to keep a low profile around the nation's capital so as to not spoil the storyline of Farmer Wants a Wife - so the viewers can believe the farmer is stringing four, then three, then two ladies along equally, letting them think they're in with a chance until the very end when they're led up a ramp.
Which all resulted in excruciating scenes when Matt visited his other date Annabelle's hometown on the Central Coast and had to pretend not only ayy, that the Central Coast was almost as nice as the Illawarra, but also bee, that poor Annabelle was still in with a chance with him as he went through the motions of a "date" around the Brisbane Water.
But all that's ancient history, it happened on TV last week. Surely keeping a low profile would limit one's opportunities on the hot Canberra celebrity scene.
"I'm not very out and about too often," Olivia told the Mercury. "I don't go shopping very much. I have been noticed a couple of times at my local cafe because I go there to get coffee every morning.
"And I work at Canberra Grammar School now, so some of the young girls on campus have had a little bit of excitement. A lot of the older women that I work with as well, they love to have a little chat and you know what, some of the husbands as well. They're getting a bit into it because their wives are so into it, so that's been quite funny."
Not so for the former farmer, who is working in the throbbing heart of Canberra as an agriculture-related public servant.
"Matt's gotten off quite easily. He decided to grow a beard and wear some glasses more often than normal. He's got his disguise."
Despite having to bunker down, Olivia said the end of filming was a relief. As it turns out, being filmed everywhere you go while competing for someone to fall in love with you in an unfamiliar environment away from home with producers telling you what to do and manufactured tantrums being milked for TV tension while knowing keyboard warriors will be tearing you down and the stakes may be as huge as who you spend the rest of your life with ... isn't as comfortable as everyone says it is.
"It was very easy to revert back to normality without cameras," Olivia said. "It didn't come naturally having cameras around. So it was definitely a welcome breath of fresh air. When the camera crew left, so did a lot of my anxiety."
Time for a serious question. Is it now time for a different version of The Farmer Wants a Someone, with female farmers - and how would that be different?
"I would love to see some female farmers on because I feel like the farmers are held to a different standard than the women when it comes to filming and when it comes to portrayal," Olivia said.
"It would be nice to see some more women portrayed in a more positive and less opinionated light.
"My only concern with female farmers applying is the type of men that they attract. I think if you watched last season, I felt really bad for her because the type of men that were put forward for her, just seems like they weren't compatible and I just wouldn't want that for anyone.
"Putting yourself in that vulnerable position and uprooting your life for a couple of months isn't easy. And the last thing that you want is for men who aren't compatible to be shifted in your direction."
Olivia has been a great sport about having the whole kit and caboodle satirised in her local multi-platform news-related content provider. Let's hope it stays that way now we've started writing her diary.
There's another episode this Sunday where two other farmers make their decisions too. The "reunion" episode a month after the show wrapped screens a week after that. We know which one we'll be watching.
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The Farmer Wants a Wife screens at 7pm Sunday on Seven, and streams on 7Plus
The story so far: The Mercury recaps The Farmer Wants a Wife
Ben Langford
Senior journalist writing on the environment. Opinion columnist, independent. We rely on your news tips so please, don't be shy to let us know what's going on.
Senior journalist writing on the environment. Opinion columnist, independent. We rely on your news tips so please, don't be shy to let us know what's going on.
